Friday, April 29, 2011

The Scariest Thing ..

Some people are scared of spiders and others are scared of germs. Some people are scared of small, tight spaces, while still others are scared of the dark. Admittedly, I am one of those people who are scared of the dark sometimes, but I find that the scariest thing is change and the unknown.
With this school year coming to an end in a few weeks, it's been pretty difficult trying to find an internship for the summer and not knowing where I'll be living for the next three months. As of now, I'll be living at home with my family, which I was hoping for, and I'm still waiting to hear back from my internship possibilities, which just makes me nervous I think because I have no control right now over what's going to happen. I'm excited for school to be over and not have to worry about homework and papers, but it's going to be awful not seeing my best friends here everyday and that changes things too. All relationships change when distance is added to it, and I've had my fair share and more of dealing with that and it's really rough. But with that, I guess there's Facebook for a reason!
I'm also looking forward to next fall to be back here with everyone and living in a house with my two best friends. I'm still scared of that change though too, because a lot of different things could change in that time and I know that next year I'll be put with additional responsibilities and trying to line up a job on top of all of that too. I've only got one more year until I enter the "real world," and I don't exactly know what exactly I want to do or where I'll end up at. It's scary to think that I could be in a big city or far from my family, but there are so many positives to that too that it's weird to have to wait and see what happens. I guess that all I can do in this moment is to just put my faith in God that everything will turn out the way it is supposed to and everything will be okay. It's definitely difficult to not stress about the future and knowing what's going to happen.

"Our dilemma is that we hate change and love it at the same time; what we really want is for things to remain the same but get better."  

I saw this quote and I really like it because it pretty much captured exactly what I've been feeling and thinking.

"You're right, things are gonna be different, but different doesn't always mean bad, it just means different."

This other quote that I found, though, helped me realize that change can be a good thing, and can lead to better opportunities and things that you can't even imagine. I mean, I am who I am now because of the decisions and changes that I made in the past, and I couldn't be happier and wouldn't change anything that I've done. I suppose I just need to quite stressing about life and let it happen and know that it'll all work out.

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